I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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