u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
