Pants 0. Shit 1.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
