I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
