i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
