I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
