her vagine was all disorganized.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
