...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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