so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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