That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
how does that bad decision feel?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
