I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
