brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
