I need help removing her.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You made out with two different species that night
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
