just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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