Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
