Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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