i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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