Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
They are going to name an STD after you.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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