his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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