He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
