Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
