Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
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