Buhtt sex?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
