dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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