I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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