I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
