it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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