i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
