had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Did you pee in the oven last night??
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
