His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
