she was so not down for the gang bang
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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