so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
