i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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