My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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