so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
