She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
