When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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