She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
People in love make me want to vomit
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
