question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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