Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
