His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
