fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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