I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
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