Whod you bang
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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