he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
