If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
