I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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