my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Acid is not a monday night drug
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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