She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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