Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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