he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Randomize
