Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
